[0.0s] previously on Dumbgeons and Dragons.
[2.2s] You made it out of the maze, but you were greeted by the terrible sound of villagers screaming.
[9.2s] You saw a blue dragon who are recognized as Lennathan.
[14.1s] Walk, I'm coming for you, baby!
[15.6s] Let's ride!
[16.6s] Down at the end of the way towards the red dragon where Thea is, there is a family.
[21.5s] Am I able to unleash this lightning breath?
[24.2s] You certainly can try.
[25.8s] I hold it up to my face as I'm running and like put it on my face.
[30.6s] You don't seem to make it work.
[33.3s] Okay.
[34.3s] Nulara, you begin to get deja vu.
[37.4s] Thaddeus, protect them!
[39.1s] You begin to run towards them and as they get to the building,
[44.0s] another red dragon swoops in from behind it and the building explodes.
[48.9s] Flint, Thea, Thaddeus, and Flaming Kins, you see Thaddeus holding up his hands.
[57.2s] Divine power protects you from this huge explosion.
[61.4s] The mask, you fools.
[63.4s] Give it to me and I'll leave these crawling ants with their miserable lives.
[67.8s] When you hear Lennathan is struck down by Protanther.
[73.5s] You're destroying villages.
[75.1s] Oh yeah, and I take the mask and I walk it over to him.
[79.4s] It appears you've brought me a piece of blue wood.
[82.5s] Is that not what you want?
[83.7s] The blue dragon mask.
[85.0s] It appears you have been duped again.
[86.5s] Cool, cool, cool, cool, cool.
[89.4s] Walk swoops down to...
[92.1s] Oh, we cuddle.
[94.3s] Would it be possible for you to give us a lift back to Waterdeep?
[99.4s] Of course I can.
[100.0s] And as you get to the outskirts of Waterdeep, now the city seems to be overflowing with people.
[107.4s] Protanther lands you near King's Court and you climb off.
[113.9s] He says, until we join forces on the field of battle.
[121.2s] Welcome to Dumbgeons and Dragons.
[123.2s] We're a D&D fifth edition spooky actual play podcast and I'm your dungeon master Russ More.
[130.2s] And with me today is Tom Laird.
[132.3s] Oh hey, that's me.
[133.3s] Surprise second up in the billing.
[135.0s] I play Flint Firebeard, I think.
[137.3s] I'm not really sure what we're doing tonight, but normally I play Flint.
[140.2s] And Carla Johnson.
[142.1s] I play Boolara Moonbrook.
[145.7s] Oh, I should have thought of something spooky for Flint.
[148.6s] Yes, yes, yes.
[150.1s] Flint Fireboogins.
[152.3s] Okay, there you go.
[153.4s] There's not a good one for my real name, but thank goodness for Boolara.
[157.8s] And Amy More.
[159.8s] And I play Thea Amascaria.
[163.4s] Yes.
[166.7s] That was a good one.
[167.5s] It's so bad.
[169.6s] This right here, this is all I've got planned for tonight.
[172.1s] Just coming up with spooky names for each other.
[174.2s] I'll come up with an even better one.
[176.8s] Well, I mean, I'm really not very good on the first one, so I would appreciate it.
[180.3s] Yeah, let's get, okay, one more time around.
[183.0s] Okay, and Tom Laird.
[185.3s] Oh geez, man, I'm a first again?
[188.0s] Look, he's like, oh my God.
[189.1s] You're the one who wanted this sick.
[190.6s] Oh boy.
[191.1s] Yeah, I wanted a minute to think about it, Russ.
[193.2s] No, it was either that or Peaches.
[195.5s] The window's open.
[196.9s] I got nothing.
[197.8s] I got nothing, guys.
[198.6s] Okay, I gotta close the window.
[199.6s] You got time to think of something.
[200.8s] I got more time.
[202.2s] I also don't have a second one.
[204.1s] I don't either.
[204.7s] I only have one for Russ's name, so.
[207.9s] Oh, what is it?
[209.0s] We don't need to, we don't need to really come up with one.
[212.2s] Unless, you know, you want, we can just tell him we did.
[215.0s] He's gone right now.
[215.8s] He doesn't know, tell him.
[217.4s] Amy, yeah, just laugh.
[218.9s] Good one.
[219.9s] Oh, thank you guys.
[221.4s] Except he can hear me when I'm talking,
[223.4s] and he'll know that I didn't come up with one.
[228.1s] Russ, we came up with a good one for you.
[229.4s] And we all came up with a second one.
[231.0s] Okay, what's the good one?
[233.3s] Well, we came up with one for you.
[235.6s] Okay.
[236.1s] It's Puss Gore, which is pretty gross.
[240.8s] That's disgusting.
[242.8s] Nasty.
[244.0s] I don't like it, but I like it, but I don't like it.
[246.7s] Seasonally appropriate, but gross.
[249.3s] And I'm going to change my name from Tom Laird to Zom Scared.
[253.4s] Oh, that's, oh yeah.
[255.4s] Yeah, that's good.
[256.7s] Scared, Laird, that makes sense.
[259.3s] It rhymes, it works.
[260.4s] If you like all these lovely spooky pet names that we give ourselves,
[263.8s] you can join us over on Patreon.
[265.4s] Patreon.com slash dumb dragon cast.
[267.9s] Where for just a buck a month, we'll come up with a spooky name for you.
[274.1s] Absolutely.
[274.8s] And when you're a patron, you get an episode dedicated to you.
[277.2s] And today's episode is dedicated to ALex from the Mysteries and Urban Legends podcast.
[285.8s] You rock.
[286.8s] It sounds like you do more spooky things with your podcast than we do with ours,
[290.6s] but we're going to try real hard.
[292.2s] That's fair.
[293.8s] We'll try.
[294.4s] Hey guys, I don't mean to hijack this,
[297.0s] but remember a little while ago when we said if people left us awesome reviews on
[301.1s] iTunes, we would read them?
[302.5s] Read them.
[303.2s] Yes.
[303.6s] I totally have a couple of them that I'm going to read right now.
[307.4s] I would love to hear them.
[308.7s] Okay.
[309.2s] This one's titled Amazing Podcast.
[311.9s] It says this is the first D&D podcast I've heard and I love it.
[315.3s] Cannot wait to start playing the game myself.
[317.4s] They are also on Spotify, which is where I listen.
[320.2s] Smiley face.
[321.3s] And who gave us that review?
[322.7s] That is from Immune.
[325.6s] Two M's, two N's.
[326.2s] Thank you, Immune.
[327.5s] Obviously not immune to our really weird comedy.
[331.6s] And I've got a second one as well.
[333.8s] Tom's pumping us up to get started to play.
[337.3s] This one's titled Excellent Entertainment and it's from JT the GM.
[342.2s] It says this cast of players and dungeon master is filled with laughter and
[345.4s] misadventures.
[346.6s] A hit for the person looking for a good old fashioned tale of D&D.
[350.1s] Please bring back Guacamole, then emoticon with a single T.
[356.9s] By this point, you've realized that Guacamole is back.
[360.5s] Safe and sound.
[362.0s] We strung you along though, because you pioneered hashtag find guac.
[367.7s] And I taunted you every single week.
[371.3s] I look forward to his updated review where he's thrilled that guac is back.
[376.8s] But today is our special Halloween episode.
[380.7s] Hence all the spooky names.
[385.0s] So we're going to get started right now.
[387.4s] Fuck it, let's play spooky D&D.
[391.8s] I'm trying to come up with a better way.
[394.1s] That's what we got.
[395.8s] You've just returned back to Waterdeep.
[398.2s] And you've gone to see Leosin to find out when the next council meeting will be.
[404.0s] Leo, baby, what's up?
[406.6s] Oh, hi, hello.
[408.5s] So many things are up.
[410.0s] But what is up with you?
[411.8s] You first.
[413.9s] Okay, well, the council has gone off to the Nether Mountains.
[419.1s] Are supposed to return very soon.
[421.3s] To make good on the promises that they said they would keep.
[425.3s] So that's-
[426.2s] That's good.
[427.5s] That's great news.
[429.0s] As you can see, the city is overrun with refugees.
[432.1s] Yes, we did see that.
[434.3s] Yeah.
[435.0s] On the plus side, there's a lovely harvest festival going on right now.
[440.3s] Oh, I do love me a harvest festival.
[442.2s] So, I mean, that's kind of the silver lining.
[444.5s] Everybody's kind of banded together to try and lift spirits, have a little fun.
[449.7s] What kind of spirits?
[453.8s] Nobody can see my creepy hands.
[455.9s] You are making some good creepy hands.
[457.8s] They're super creepy, guys.
[459.6s] I mean, the good spirits, hopefully.
[462.9s] Hopefully none of the bad spirits.
[464.5s] That could end terribly because we are quite over capacity.
[467.4s] Like the fire marshal came and knocked on our door the other day
[470.3s] and said, you have too many people.
[471.9s] I like that there's a fire marshal in this world.
[474.2s] And did you say you're just adding to this problem, Mr. Get Out?
[477.1s] Thanks, Tom.
[482.8s] Okay, I just need to put a pause on things for a second.
[485.7s] I made a really good joke today.
[487.7s] So, I was playing cards with a coworker today and she said,
[490.9s] oh, God, I've got a really weird hand.
[492.9s] And I said, why?
[493.9s] Is it all thumbs?
[495.0s] And I laughed for like four minutes.
[498.1s] And I was like, well, that's the best I'm going to do today.
[501.8s] And I wasted it on you, Kathy.
[503.4s] Jesus.
[504.8s] I'm recording tonight and I wasted my best.
[508.1s] Right?
[508.4s] I just had to share.
[510.6s] Anyway, this harvest festival sounds great.
[514.7s] We just saw a whole lot of dragons at Zompel's tower.
[522.6s] So, that was neat.
[523.7s] Luckily, though, Protanther and the other gold metallic dragons got there in time.
[532.3s] Such a relief that the council left and made good on those promises.
[536.2s] A posthaste.
[540.2s] Well, that gives you the evening to go do what you do.
[544.5s] Guys, we have a day off.
[546.0s] Perfectly.
[547.0s] Hey, Leos, is there good snacks at this festival?
[550.8s] Oh, the best snacks.
[552.8s] Like some good autumnal snacks.
[554.4s] I'm looking for apples.
[555.5s] I'm looking for gourds.
[556.8s] I'm looking for-
[557.7s] There's definite-
[559.4s] Pumpkin dip.
[560.7s] Oh, pumpkin spice.
[564.1s] There's all of those things.
[565.9s] Wonderful.
[567.2s] Because all of those things now exist in this world.
[571.5s] Well, they are just fruits and vegetables.
[573.1s] I was going to say what you were-
[576.0s] This was all an elaborate world building for a place where there was no gourds?
[581.4s] There were previously no gourds.
[583.7s] Have you not picked up the breadcrumbs that have led to the moment where there are actually no-
[588.6s] They've been layering it for like three plus years.
[591.5s] To be fair, he's never mentioned a squash of any varietal that I can recall.
[597.2s] This is true.
[598.3s] No kirkabits at all.
[599.5s] Sorry to have ruined your life, Russ.
[603.2s] This is really- this has opened a lot of doors here.
[607.4s] We're creating this world.
[609.2s] Isn't that amazing what you can do in D&D?
[611.4s] You can just create a world in which squash exists.
[615.5s] Look at the fucking roof off this conspiracy.
[617.8s] Holy shit.
[619.8s] We're really living our best D&D lives right now, aren't we?
[625.3s] So you had me right up until you started talking about D&D.
[628.2s] I don't know what that is.
[629.9s] Leo-san, are you going to come kick it with us at this festival?
[634.6s] You know, I have some things to finish up here,
[638.5s] but if I get done in time, I will come join you.
[642.2s] That means no, guys.
[643.0s] Without a doubt.
[643.4s] That's a no.
[644.8s] Yeah, that's a no whenever I hang out with my friends and they say that.
[649.5s] Does that happen a lot to you, Flynn?
[652.0s] You guys are really my only friends, so yep.
[655.2s] Okay, fair enough.
[656.8s] All right, Leo-san, while if you do need us,
[658.7s] we will be down at the festival.
[660.6s] I can't guarantee how sober we're going to be.
[663.1s] It's a day off, motherfuckers!
[665.1s] And Thea leaves.
[669.9s] Just like that.
[671.1s] You turn around and Flamikins and Thaddeus have disappeared.
[674.9s] They've just ran and gone and at the moment,
[677.5s] they said day off that you figure they bolted.
[679.9s] That's fair.
[680.6s] So they are no longer with you.
[683.1s] You head out and down the stairs and into the streets of Waterdeep.
[689.5s] At first glance, you notice some big differences.
[692.3s] There are silver dragons standing guard around the city.
[696.2s] Streets are packed.
[698.6s] The usually impeccably clean city,
[701.3s] Waterdeep is known to be one of the cleanest,
[703.7s] largest cities in all of Faerun and it's packed with people.
[707.6s] It's got tents and caravans and the city is just overflowing,
[711.1s] as you saw when you came up.
[713.3s] The city guard of Waterdeep is patrolling
[715.8s] and putting a quick stop to any fights that come up or break out internally,
[720.5s] while you notice the armed forces patrol the outskirts and battlements of the city.
[725.6s] As you head to the streets and notice the general mood of the city,
[730.4s] there's a mix between fear and concern and then there's also a bit of levity trying to break through.
[737.6s] Some citizens are trying to bring some cheer with the annual Old Hallows Eve Festival.
[744.6s] Benders and shop owners hand out candies and treats to children and adventurers alike
[751.4s] and celebrate with bards playing seasonal music.
[754.6s] Where do you guys want to go?
[755.9s] I wanted some candy.
[758.6s] I was kind of thinking that too.
[760.0s] As soon as you said that to children, I was like,
[764.3s] he is a child inside.
[767.5s] I mean, we're all somebody's children.
[769.2s] Exactly.
[770.0s] He is still young for an elf.
[773.1s] There's all kinds of justifications why we want to go get some candy.
[776.0s] Absolutely.
[777.3s] The first shop you come up to that you notice handing out treats is O'Henry's.
[782.5s] Oh, Henry, how are you doing?
[785.9s] He looks up.
[788.7s] It's you.
[789.3s] It's you, the bedazzled, the bedazzled, the bedazzler.
[793.4s] What?
[794.4s] The bedazzled bedazzler.
[795.6s] You got your, you got your, you got your, you got your leathers bedazzled.
[801.7s] I'm getting older there, Missy.
[804.8s] How are you doing?
[806.5s] Wonder.
[807.0s] Besides older.
[808.0s] Older.
[809.4s] Life, life, life ends for us all.
[812.6s] What you got in the, what you got, what you got there?
[816.1s] Well, we've got some, some sugary things that I got at the local confectionary
[821.8s] that the, that the kids like.
[823.5s] Look, they're like orange and yellow.
[827.1s] May I have an orange one?
[829.1s] Yeah.
[830.7s] You grab them and they're both orange and yellow.
[833.5s] Oh, so you're just going to eat the orange part?
[837.0s] No, I'll probably eat the whole thing.
[841.2s] He said there are orange and yellow ones.
[843.1s] I got confused.
[844.1s] I thought there were two different kinds.
[845.9s] Well, thank you, Henry.
[847.4s] Everybody gets older there, Missy.
[849.5s] Age comes first, doesn't it?
[850.7s] Doesn't it?
[851.9s] It's knocking on my door.
[853.7s] Ages?
[856.3s] Yep.
[857.1s] Okay.
[859.5s] I pop it in my mouth.
[861.0s] And is it delicious?
[862.4s] Yeah. What's the flavor on that bad boy?
[864.1s] Flavor roll.
[864.8s] Flavor Flav, it's a two.
[868.3s] It tastes like sweet corn.
[872.4s] Oh, okay.
[873.2s] That's not too bad.
[874.8s] It's really good.
[876.4s] Good, good.
[877.3s] These kids seem to like it as a group of kids come up and grab handfuls and
[881.8s] take bites and then spit it out onto the ground and say, that's disgusting, old man.
[885.9s] I go, I get out my, my hanky and I go like,
[889.0s] I chew and I chew my candy in two because I'm not, I'm not about to insult this man who
[898.4s] embossed my leather armor.
[901.4s] Emblazoned and dim doodled.
[903.6s] Dim doodled.
[904.7s] That is cruel.
[905.2s] Dim dum doodled.
[906.3s] Don't catch your death there, Missy.
[907.6s] You go have, go have fun.
[910.4s] Okay.
[911.9s] Is it cold outside?
[913.3s] I don't know, you're sneezing.
[916.0s] He raises a valuable point.
[917.5s] Yeah.
[917.6s] Oh, no.
[918.1s] Yes, of course.
[919.6s] Yes.
[921.1s] Okay.
[922.4s] Goodbye, Henry.
[923.9s] Okay.
[924.3s] See you next time.
[925.6s] Send your friends.
[927.3s] I turn to you guys.
[928.1s] You guys should really try the candy.
[929.3s] It's good stuff.
[931.7s] We're not falling for it.
[933.0s] We saw the sneeze move.
[934.6s] It was not that subtle.
[935.8s] Yeah.
[936.0s] Not a chance.
[937.1s] I don't know.
[937.9s] Rolling for stealth.
[939.1s] I definitely rolled a five.
[943.0s] Also, stealth seems like a weird roll for them.
[945.5s] For a sneeze.
[948.1s] Did I like miss the tissue
[949.2s] and I just like spit it onto the ground?
[951.5s] A little bit.
[951.9s] I mean, it mixed with all the other kids' stuff.
[953.9s] So, you know, it's fine.
[956.1s] Why don't we go see...
[959.0s] Oh, no.
[959.4s] You know what I want to do?
[960.4s] I want to go somewhere where there's like a gathering
[962.8s] to see if we can hear people talking about us.
[965.6s] Oh, that's fun.
[967.7s] We're like the heroes of the town, sort of, right?
[971.4s] I mean, a little bit.
[972.6s] You begin walking down the streets,
[974.3s] eavesdropping on everybody you pass.
[976.9s] And you pass by one gathering.
[980.4s] They're gathered around a bard
[981.8s] and you hear a familiar sound
[983.5s] and it sounds like Grug, your good friend.
[987.5s] And he is singing Tales of the Decimators of Dragons.
[1006.1s] Water deep, water deep.
[1009.8s] Silver dragons in the sky,
[1012.0s] fiendish wings in the night.
[1014.7s] Water deep takes flight.
[1018.4s] All hail the decimators,
[1020.5s] dragon queen.
[1021.6s] See you later, weep.
[1026.3s] Water deep.
[1028.0s] Yeah, Grug!
[1029.1s] Woo!
[1030.7s] You know.
[1031.4s] Hey, didn't you know those guys personally?
[1034.4s] This guy's totally factual in his songs.
[1037.2s] He looks up and he points to you.
[1039.3s] See you later on down the road, you silver tongues.
[1042.7s] I like it.
[1043.5s] Don't forget to sing about that hot chick we destroyed together.
[1049.9s] You keep going down the street
[1052.2s] and you pass by another group on your way through
[1056.2s] and you see a gray tabaxi.
[1059.5s] Singing a song of adventures,
[1061.9s] saving the realm from a war with the gods.
[1064.4s] Well, clearly overstating his importance within the battles.
[1069.3s] I mean, that does sound like something a crazy tabaxi would say.
[1072.7s] It sure does.
[1074.7s] I don't trust the tabaxi as far as I can throw one.
[1077.1s] You see a gathering at the end of the street you are walking on
[1080.8s] and you're getting nearer towards the yawning portal inn.
[1085.1s] And as you get closer,
[1086.7s] you see a traveling haunted house set up.
[1090.1s] What?
[1090.6s] With a merchant out front yelling five gold,
[1093.5s] make it to the end and the treasure's yours.
[1095.9s] And he's calling this out to everybody who passes by.
[1099.4s] I look to my friends and I say,
[1101.5s] how about a little bit of fake scary after all
[1103.2s] the really crazy scary that we've been having.
[1105.6s] It seems, it seems like a good diversion.
[1109.3s] A little, a little, a little fake scare
[1112.7s] instead of, you know, facing real life dragons
[1115.1s] and other horrible things.
[1117.1s] Child's play.
[1118.2s] Yeah, if it's only five gold, that's, that's nothing for us.
[1121.9s] Well, I was, I was thinking for the Decimator of Dragons,
[1125.0s] we might get him for free, but all right.
[1127.1s] You give it a shot.
[1128.0s] Give it a shot, Thea.
[1130.3s] I go up to the merchant and I say,
[1132.8s] oh there, good sir.
[1134.7s] Good day, good day, five gold.
[1136.9s] Make it to the end of the haunted house
[1138.9s] and the treasure's all yours.
[1140.8s] What treasure are we talking about?
[1142.6s] Oh, I've been collecting treasure from cities past
[1145.8s] all over the realm and just keeping it in here.
[1148.8s] Okay, it sounded like you were finished talking.
[1152.5s] Well, do you give any special discounts for celebrities?
[1159.2s] There's a celebrity here?
[1160.7s] Well, you've got three in your midst right now.
[1162.7s] Where?
[1164.0s] Have you heard of a few, I can't stand girls like that.
[1169.1s] She's so embarrassed and this like is.
[1172.3s] Pretty great.
[1175.8s] Oh, Russ.
[1177.3s] I shouldn't have looked up.
[1178.3s] I was like in the zone.
[1179.5s] I look over and Carla's like.
[1180.8s] Literally hiding her face, yeah.
[1183.8s] Yep.
[1185.3s] Have you heard of us, you know,
[1187.8s] a group called the Decimator of Dragons?
[1191.5s] The Decimator of Dragons, yes.
[1195.9s] There was a, there was a, there was a bard.
[1199.2s] He was telling tales down the street
[1203.1s] about how they're saving, saving, saving everything.
[1206.3s] Yes, we are.
[1206.9s] From these, from these horrid dragons.
[1209.5s] Well, not, not all the dragons are bad,
[1211.2s] just the cults of the dragons.
[1212.5s] But yeah, yeah, that's us.
[1215.0s] That's you?
[1215.9s] That's us.
[1217.2s] Well, you don't look like too much.
[1219.1s] How are you going to take on all these dragons?
[1221.9s] We've, we've banded together with other dragons.
[1227.1s] Very good.
[1227.5s] So you could make it to the end of this haunted house.
[1229.7s] No problem.
[1230.7s] Absolutely.
[1231.9s] And then the treasure's yours.
[1233.5s] For sure.
[1234.4s] You got a sale going on.
[1236.7s] Five gold.
[1237.9s] All right, I pay him the five gold.
[1239.3s] Yeah, okay.
[1239.8s] And then I turn to my friends and I shrug.
[1241.2s] You gave it a good shot.
[1243.1s] Yeah, it was worth a try.
[1245.0s] I give him five gold, which that seems pretty steep.
[1248.3s] I feel like there's been a lot of inflation in Waterdeep,
[1252.0s] probably because of the influx of people and yeah.
[1256.6s] I'm actually recording it.
[1257.9s] Now I have 6.85 instead of 6.98.
[1261.3s] Oh God.
[1261.7s] I haven't even looked at my money since we were on paper.
[1266.8s] It's right there, Nick, after like in our equipment.
[1272.0s] I wrote it down when we started, but you know.
[1275.5s] So is this a one at a time thing or is this?
[1278.9s] No, no, you can go in as many as you like.
[1281.5s] You pay your gold, you go in any one of these three doors,
[1285.2s] any gestures to the large haunted house on wheels that is behind him.
[1291.1s] A tiny haunted house on wheels.
[1293.1s] They're all the rage right now in Faerun.
[1295.7s] Everybody's putting them up.
[1297.1s] Properties at a premium, Amy.
[1299.1s] The use of space is just incredible.
[1301.9s] How is there two floors in this tiny haunted house?
[1306.0s] How much for the dragon?
[1307.9s] As for Donnie, I'm calling him a-
[1309.6s] Oh, the dragon's going in.
[1311.9s] Yes.
[1315.4s] I mean, is he intelligent?
[1317.0s] Is he going to figure out how to get you through this haunted house?
[1320.2s] Oh, no, no.
[1321.5s] But I'm like Wink at Don, like he knows I'm not, come on.
[1325.8s] I am so dumb.
[1328.3s] I am the dumbest dragon around.
[1333.2s] I lose lots of respect for Donnie.
[1336.3s] Yeah, the dragon can go in, no problem.
[1338.1s] It's all fine.
[1338.7s] It's fine.
[1339.1s] It's fine.
[1339.5s] He's not going to hurt anything in there, I don't think.
[1342.3s] So yes, yes, you and your decimators of dragons, you pick one of three doors.
[1348.5s] Now, I really feel like these are my decimator of dragons,
[1353.0s] like I'm now the leader of this group and I'm uncomfortable with that.
[1356.3s] I'm on board.
[1357.0s] I was talking to the dragon, him and his decimator of dragons.
[1361.4s] You get three chances.
[1363.5s] When you enter, well, it seems more real.
[1368.8s] Some of the things might be, might be quite difficult,
[1371.6s] might seem like they hurt, but don't worry, it doesn't actually.
[1376.5s] Um, just out of curiosity, if I were to hit someone with my fist
[1387.4s] because they scared me, would I be hitting a like a measly paid employee,
[1397.0s] probably like a teenager or something that's just working on the week?
[1400.0s] Totally.
[1400.6s] Am I hitting a teen actor?
[1402.6s] Because this is a real good question, guys,
[1404.7s] because this is a real problem.
[1407.5s] It really is.
[1410.0s] I have invested in the finest illusions
[1413.8s] to make sure that this is as real as possible
[1416.4s] for adventurers looking to seek a little excitement around the holidays.
[1420.5s] That's all I needed to hear.
[1422.1s] Great.
[1422.3s] Door number three.
[1424.1s] Oh, okay.
[1425.0s] I guess we follow the theater.
[1428.8s] All right.
[1429.5s] How can you not follow that confidence?
[1431.3s] I know that's it.
[1433.2s] You enter through a curtain.
[1438.1s] Beaded or normal?
[1439.5s] I was just wondering.
[1441.4s] It is normal.
[1442.2s] It is a fabric curtain, dark black to keep the light out.
[1446.3s] Oh, like a CO2 curtain.
[1447.5s] Yes.
[1448.0s] You enter and you step onto a rickety wood platform
[1453.5s] and you begin moving into the hallway.
[1457.8s] As you get about five to 10 feet in, the floor begins to change,
[1464.3s] begins to feel like stone beneath your feet,
[1468.8s] and bright, brilliant colors begin to be seen everywhere.
[1473.4s] The stones and pigments undimmed by the passage of what looks like could be decades.
[1479.6s] There are cobwebs around the corners, hanging from the walls,
[1483.9s] and the floor of the corridor is a colorful mosaic of stone with a distinct winding path
[1492.5s] of red tiles about two feet wide, snaking its way down the corridor.
[1498.4s] No stonework can be seen on the walls or the ceiling 20 feet above,
[1503.1s] for some sort of cement or plaster has been smoothed over all of these surfaces
[1508.3s] and then illustrated.
[1509.4s] The scenes show fields with kine grazing, a copse with several wolves in the background,
[1518.7s] workers of various races and strange human-animal mixtures, pig-human, ape-human,
[1525.9s] and dog-human going about various tasks.
[1529.4s] Certain of the frescoes show rooms of some building,
[1532.5s] a library filled with many books and scrolls,
[1535.4s] the door of the torture chamber, and a wizard's workroom.
[1539.6s] There are chairs, windows, boxes, bales, doors, chests, birds, bats, spiders,
[1545.8s] and all manners of other things shown on the wall.
[1552.3s] What would you look at these pretty pictures?
[1555.5s] Somebody did a very good job in here, looks great.
[1559.1s] Are any of the eyes following us or anything?
[1561.0s] The attention to detail on the birds is real good.
[1563.8s] Anything spooky happening yet?
[1566.3s] There are none that appear to be following you.
[1571.1s] Shall we just stay on the hall?
[1572.7s] The path is about 130 feet down, as far as you can see from where you are.
[1579.1s] I mean, I guess we just follow the path, yeah.
[1581.7s] Right, yeah, we meander down 130 feet.
[1585.1s] So you're following the red path that is outlined?
[1589.0s] There are more than one.
[1589.7s] Or are you just walking?
[1591.5s] Well, I mean, the hallway is about 20 feet wide,
[1594.7s] and then there is a red path that snakes its way down.
[1598.3s] Yeah, I'm going to walk on the path.
[1599.9s] I think so, and I guess probably look at the murals that it takes you close to.
[1605.2s] It's like a guided art tour.
[1606.8s] Can I investigate the murals as we pass by?
[1610.1s] Mm-hmm, yeah.
[1611.1s] I want to investigate the murals.
[1612.9s] Sure.
[1615.4s] It goes great.
[1616.0s] Get them all out now, Amy.
[1618.7s] Oh, those are so good.
[1619.9s] Those murals you love.
[1621.9s] How far do you walk as you're looking extensively at these murals?
[1627.5s] Ten feet?
[1628.7s] Yeah, you get ten feet down and you're examining the murals,
[1632.2s] and I mean, they look exquisite in their artistry.
[1635.9s] Maybe someone else takes an interest in the murals
[1637.9s] and Amy stops rolling with the rainbow dice.
[1641.2s] I had rolled a two.
[1642.3s] Real solid.
[1644.7s] Okay, yeah, I want to investigate.
[1647.5s] I'm particularly interested in these half-human hybrid creatures,
[1652.5s] but I'm soaking it all in.
[1657.7s] You're just like, culture, culture, culture.
[1660.2s] We're so tired.
[1661.1s] We haven't had a day off in a long time, guys.
[1663.0s] That's why I got a four.
[1665.3s] So I also notice nothing.
[1669.1s] Did they use colors?
[1671.7s] Marching order.
[1672.3s] I assume Thea went first, being that she said she was.
[1675.5s] I did.
[1676.2s] So she went about ten feet down following the red path.
[1680.1s] How far down do you go as you are observing these half-humans creatures?
[1685.2s] And I will tell you more about them, obviously.
[1687.5s] You don't have to.
[1688.1s] I rolled a four.
[1689.7s] I can barely see them.
[1690.5s] Oh, they're...
[1691.1s] Apparently.
[1692.3s] I mean, they look like half-humans.
[1696.2s] Dogs, pigs, mixtures of all sorts of animals.
[1699.1s] You start to make up your own names for them.
[1701.1s] It's like, humans, humans.
[1703.1s] What a terrible name.
[1709.8s] Can I, with a roll of a four, tell which half of them is human?
[1713.9s] Are they half and half like centaurs?
[1716.0s] Or are they like a mix like mutt from space balls?
[1721.9s] They appear to be different variations of half-human and half-animal.
[1726.9s] Some of them have heads of the animal, bodies full human.
[1731.8s] Others have mostly the bodies of, like, the ape has the arms and chest of the ape
[1739.1s] and legs of the human and face kind of morphed between the two.
[1745.0s] So wait, is it just like that meme where that dude skipped leg day?
[1748.9s] Yep, exactly.
[1750.3s] Okay.
[1751.1s] Never skip leg day.
[1752.4s] You end up like a half-human half-animal.
[1756.8s] That's what they say.
[1757.5s] So sorry.
[1759.1s] Do you pass by, Thea?
[1761.1s] No, I don't think so.
[1762.3s] Like, I'm kind of, but I'm probably pretty close.
[1768.6s] Thea doesn't feel afraid because she knows that this is all just make-believe.
[1773.1s] Oh, totally.
[1774.0s] Yeah, like, I think we're pretty, like, relaxed and, like, oh, whatever.
[1777.1s] I would never go first to other ones.
[1779.0s] Yeah, I mean, that was your dead giveaway that this was a different situation.
[1782.9s] So Flint, Thea has gone ahead.
[1785.5s] Nularaaaa following close behind there, observing these beautiful murals along the wall.
[1790.3s] And you see they're following this red-snaking path.
[1793.8s] What are you doing as you begin to walk down?
[1796.6s] Well, I was pretty interested in those birds you mentioned in the mural,
[1800.7s] so I'm going to have a closer look at them.
[1803.5s] Sure.
[1804.1s] Oh, that's a 19.
[1806.3s] Oh, well, someone is observant.
[1807.9s] Scratch that, making an 18 because of my minus one penalty.
[1811.1s] But still pretty good.
[1812.5s] You all continue to walk down, and you're observing the birds,
[1816.7s] and they're exquisite birds, and you catch out of the corner of your eye.
[1823.1s] You guys have walked about 30 feet into this room,
[1825.5s] and you see that Thea is walking,
[1829.6s] and you see the edge of what looks like perhaps maybe a pit trap
[1839.1s] coming up directly in front of her.
[1842.6s] On the floor.
[1843.7s] Oh, watch it running there, Thea.
[1850.3s] Well, hello there.
[1851.5s] Happy Halloween.
[1853.0s] I'm your dungeon master, Russ More.
[1854.7s] Thanks for joining us for episode 60 of Dumbgeons and Dragons,
[1858.3s] The Haunted House of Horrors, part one.
[1863.1s] So sorry about Tom's audio in this episode and possibly the next few
[1867.9s] that the literal Halloween gremlins got to his wires and crossed some paths.
[1872.4s] But I can assure you, we have figured it out.
[1874.8s] It will just take a bit before we get caught up
[1877.1s] in our recordings before we figured it out.
[1879.9s] A few big thank yous to start us off today.
[1882.1s] First, thank you for those lovely reviews off the top.
[1884.9s] There were a couple more that we received that we'll be reading next episode.
[1888.5s] And thank you to Keith Ross for his episode 59 guest appearance as Protanther.
[1892.7s] It's always a blast to have you on, Keith.
[1894.6s] Go check him out at Elmo the Usurper on Twitter.
[1898.1s] And finally, from the first half of today's episode, you heard them.
[1901.8s] You loved them.
[1902.3s] It's Spencer Joe returning as Grug Danger's song in a walk-on cameo there,
[1907.5s] weaving an original tale of glory and wonder of the Decimators of Dragons.
[1912.6s] And now, just to let you know, Spencer Joe is in the Commissions game.
[1916.3s] So if you need a song written and performed for your game or podcast
[1920.0s] or anything else you have going on, send him an email.
[1922.3s] Spencer Joe at spencerjomusic at gmail.com.
[1928.0s] He's an amazing artist who can certainly help you out with whatever you need.
[1931.7s] I'll link all his details in the description.
[1933.8s] So go give him some love and put his dulcetones to work for you.
[1937.0s] Thank you, Spencer.
[1938.3s] And a huge thank you to everyone who listens,
[1940.7s] supports, and is able to lend their amazing talents to the show.
[1944.8s] I feel, and hopefully you do too,
[1947.0s] that it makes everything that we're doing here much better.
[1951.1s] Building the world up and helping weave this rich tapestry
[1954.3s] that we're all creating together.
[1956.1s] Thank you, everyone.
[1957.1s] If you enjoy what we're doing here,
[1958.7s] weaving this rich tapestry with cameos and people from all over the place,
[1963.8s] we invite you to join us on Patreon.
[1966.1s] Where for just as little as a dollar a month,
[1968.7s] you're joining the community that helps build the show from behind the scenes.
[1973.1s] Every person joining our Patreon community
[1975.1s] certainly helps make the show better with every episode.
[1978.1s] But we want to give you perks as well for joining the community.
[1980.5s] So you get a whole backlog of monthly bonus episodes,
[1983.4s] plus new ones on the 15th of every month.
[1986.4s] We're working to incorporate some new perks coming up here in the next little while.
[1990.3s] So keep your eye out there.
[1991.4s] We'll make sure to let you know as we get those rolling.
[1994.7s] And we really hope you enjoy it.
[1996.1s] Thank you to all of our current patrons and anyone considering it as well.
[1999.7s] That's Patreon.com slash dumb dragon cast.
[2003.4s] Final big thank you to Sirenscape for some of the amazing atmosphere.
[2006.3s] Make sure you go check them out at sirenscape.com to bring your games to life.
[2011.1s] The next episode will be out Wednesday, November 7th,
[2013.9s] where we'll wrap up this fun and a little bit spooky.
[2017.9s] It's mostly fun.
[2019.0s] Mostly fun.
[2019.7s] Look into these Harvest Festival haunted house.
[2023.3s] Make sure you hit that subscribe button if you don't already so you don't miss out.
[2027.1s] Let's sneak back in to see if the adventures have figured out how to do puzzles and riddles.
[2032.5s] Maybe.
[2033.4s] Happy Halloween.
[2034.5s] Have a great week.
[2035.5s] We'll talk soon.
[2040.6s] Watch your footing there, Mia.
[2042.0s] I look down.
[2042.9s] I'm like, this is just like fucking Splash Mountain.
[2045.1s] They got you looking at this cute Peter Rabbit puppet show.
[2048.6s] And then all of a sudden, you're off of the end of a cliff.
[2051.5s] I make a make a perception check there to see if you see it.
[2056.6s] Fourteen.
[2057.6s] I feel like an eight perception.
[2059.1s] Yeah, you look down and you see you.
[2061.9s] You discern the edges of the pits lid.
[2065.5s] Coming up right in front of you as you're about to step on top of it.
[2069.9s] I stop.
[2071.0s] The three of you begin to look around and further down this hall and you see
[2076.3s] another pit trap a little bit ahead.
[2079.5s] The first one, the red path goes right over top.
[2084.7s] The second one, it seems the red path snakes around.
[2089.0s] How how big how?
[2091.5s] They're about 10 feet by 10 feet.
[2094.3s] So I don't know, but it's 20 feet wide.
[2098.5s] So we just can walk.
[2099.3s] Oh, I walk around it.
[2101.6s] Yeah, you walk to the left and the second pit trap is 10 feet and in front to the left there.
[2109.2s] I go around that one.
[2111.3s] You find yourself back on the red halfway.
[2115.5s] As you continue down, everybody make a perception check.
[2121.2s] Oh, baby.
[2122.3s] 26, 7, 10, 7.
[2126.7s] So, Thea being in front, you make your way all the way down to the end of this hallway.
[2134.7s] Following down this red pathway, watching out for another three pit traps on your way down.
[2143.5s] Assume you tell.
[2144.7s] Yeah, I'm like on your right.
[2146.6s] Easy there.
[2147.1s] You're on your own, dickbags.
[2149.0s] You reach the end of the hallway and the path forks.
[2155.1s] It goes straight ahead into the wall where you see on the wall before you
[2162.6s] a relief sculpture of a devil face formed of mosaic tiles and the face has a huge O
[2169.0s] of a mouth inside of which the space is dead black.
[2174.3s] And to your left, there is a small room.
[2178.4s] And you look inside.
[2180.3s] The stone archway before you is filled with a veil of thick vapors.
[2184.2s] The stone on either side of the base and the key stone protrude slightly
[2189.3s] from the stones around them.
[2191.1s] As you move to within touching distance, the left hand base stone begins to glow yellow.
[2197.9s] The right hand base stone orange and the keystone seven feet above blue.
[2204.0s] You also see runes in the mosaic floor that have a message for you.
[2210.2s] The message says,
[2212.0s] Hey guys, Acerac congratulates you on your powers of observation.
[2217.3s] So make of this whatever you wish for you will be mine in the end, no matter what.
[2223.4s] Go back to the tormentor or through the arc and the second great hall you'll discover.
[2229.4s] Shun green if you can, but night's good color is for those of great valor.
[2235.2s] If shades of red stand for blood, the wise will not need sacrifice ought,
[2240.1s] but a loop of magical metal.
[2242.5s] You're well along your march.
[2245.1s] Two pits along the way will be found to lead to a fortuitous fall.
[2249.5s] So check the wall.
[2252.6s] These keys and those are most important of all.
[2256.7s] And beware of trembling hands and what will maul.
[2260.5s] If you find the faults, you find the true and into the column hall you'll come.
[2266.6s] And they're the throne that's key and keyed.
[2270.8s] The iron men of Visage Grimm do more than meets the viewer's eye.
[2276.3s] You've left and left and found my tomb and now your souls will die.
[2283.9s] Guys, we have a bad feeling.
[2285.9s] Doesn't sound great.
[2287.2s] Doesn't sound great.
[2288.6s] That last line, particularly, I am not a fan of.
[2291.9s] Yep, didn't really like that one.
[2293.3s] I didn't even like the first line.
[2295.9s] That was a lot to absorb in ruins.
[2301.7s] Real long.
[2303.9s] Thea quickly grabs a piece of parchment from her bag and scrolls the highlights.
[2312.3s] Should have clicked snow.
[2314.0s] Yeah, yeah.
[2316.8s] You're mine in the end no matter what.
[2320.0s] Torment her through the arch, second great hall.
[2322.6s] Souls will die, yadda yadda yadda.
[2324.7s] Shun green.
[2326.2s] Yadda yadda yadda over the best part.
[2328.5s] Shades of red.
[2330.6s] The wise will not need sacrifice, ought but a loop of magical metal.
[2334.7s] I have a loop of magical metal.
[2337.1s] I don't want to give it to this fucking place though.
[2339.1s] What the hell is going on?
[2340.4s] That's how he gets his treasure.
[2344.1s] So he just has a whole lot of magical rings and stuff.
[2346.9s] That's what I'm assuming.
[2348.9s] Well, this is fucking bullshit.
[2350.6s] I take my dagger and I just like poke in the mouth of the dazzled
[2358.1s] in this like weird devil glory hole we found in this herby haunted house.
[2364.0s] Yes!
[2369.6s] I poke in the glory hole with my dagger.
[2371.5s] Oh boy.
[2372.9s] It is as sexy as it sounds.
[2375.5s] Oh boy.
[2377.1s] So it's about three feet in diameter.
[2379.5s] So you're just like poking your arm in like what's happening.
[2382.3s] Oh, there's an in?
[2384.3s] I didn't realize how far.
[2385.5s] Yeah, like it's a big hole three feet in diameter.
[2388.0s] Oh gosh, okay.
[2388.9s] I thought I was like mouth sized.
[2389.9s] So plenty of room for those who wish to leap in.
[2393.4s] I throw a copper piece in.
[2397.1s] You don't hear it land.
[2399.9s] Can I throw?
[2401.2s] I like this throwing copper pieces is very clever.
[2403.8s] I'm some kind of joke about a live album from 1992 something something.
[2409.9s] I was going to say I'm going to throw my copy of throwing copper in the hole.
[2414.8s] Exactly.
[2417.9s] I want to throw a copper into the room to see if that like
[2422.8s] activates something or like if it does something or you know.
[2427.1s] Okay, so you're throwing it into the room.
[2430.0s] What happens?
[2430.7s] Anything?
[2431.5s] Sorry, I'm a little confused.
[2433.1s] Great straight is the slightly bigger than we thought glory hole.
[2437.8s] Yeah, three feet, three feet.
[2439.1s] To the right to the to the left is is the room the art the art the shining
[2446.7s] of mist with the shiny keystones.
[2449.1s] Yeah.
[2449.5s] Now what did this letter say about the colors?
[2452.2s] It said shun green if you can but night's good color is for those of great valor.
[2459.5s] If shades of red stand for blood the wise will not need sacrifice
[2463.7s] ought but a loop of magical metal you're well along your march.
[2468.4s] So it doesn't say anything about orange blue or yellow.
[2472.9s] It's not.
[2473.6s] Okay.
[2474.5s] Well, I mean blue plus yellow is blue the color of night.
[2479.5s] What's the color of night black blue?
[2482.6s] I'm assuming black.
[2483.7s] What's the shade of this blue Russ in this room?
[2486.6s] Is it like a mid is it a would you say a midnight blue or more of like a robin's egg
[2493.9s] blue what's happening?
[2495.1s] It's kind of like a let's just say Navy.
[2499.6s] It's shining Navy blue.
[2501.2s] I don't know.
[2501.9s] It's very interesting.
[2502.9s] Okay, just like primary color blue forked.
[2506.9s] Yeah, to the right is a wall.
[2509.9s] Okay, cool.
[2510.4s] So there really is only two options.
[2514.3s] Okay, guys, I don't want to make a decision.
[2519.1s] You chose door number three pretty quick.
[2520.8s] I know her confidence is really faded.
[2524.0s] No, I'm gonna not it for this one.
[2527.0s] So you have the green demons mouth or the arch of mist.
[2532.3s] Okay, so I was somehow thinking it was red because I am kind of racist
[2536.6s] in my devil depictions.
[2537.6s] I guess I just assumed it was a red time.
[2539.4s] It can be any color Carla.
[2540.9s] Can be any color apparently.
[2542.6s] So sorry in the runes.
[2545.1s] Didn't it say something about something about green?
[2546.9s] Green is something something something.
[2548.4s] Yeah, something about avoiding green if you can.
[2551.9s] Okay.
[2553.4s] Then I think we should go into the mist room.
[2557.9s] Or how about that?
[2558.8s] I'll I'll go into the mist room.
[2561.6s] Well, if one of us goes, we all gotta go.
[2563.7s] Yeah, it's true.
[2564.5s] But I mean, like, I'll wait on this.
[2565.9s] I just see what happens as you pass through the door.
[2568.1s] Yeah.
[2569.8s] You step into the mist and you feel it envelop around you.
[2575.5s] And you blink and suddenly you're in another place.
[2579.5s] And you are in a miserable cubicle, which appears to have absolutely no means of egress.
[2585.5s] There are three iron levers, each about one foot long,
[2589.3s] that protrude from the south wall of the chamber.
[2592.7s] All of a sudden someone comes out and goes, yeah, I'm going to need you to come in on Saturday.
[2598.0s] I'm going to need you to come in on Saturday.
[2602.0s] And someone else is wondering where there's paplers.
[2604.0s] Oh no, the lumber monster.
[2606.0s] Flint and Thea, you saw Nularaaaa walk in, the mist swarmed around her, and now you don't hear anything.
[2612.0s] You don't hear footsteps. You don't hear her.
[2614.0s] Nularaaaa!
[2615.1s] Do we still see mist or has that gone as well?
[2617.1s] No, the mist is still there.
[2619.1s] Can I hear them calling me?
[2621.1s] You do not hear them calling you.
[2623.1s] The room you're in is about 10 feet by 10 feet and has only those three levers.
[2627.1s] Who wants to go first?
[2629.1s] I'll go in after my buddy.
[2631.1s] I walk through the room.
[2633.3s] I'll go in after my buddy.
[2635.3s] I walk through.
[2637.3s] Thea walks in and suddenly the same thing.
[2639.3s] You are enveloped by the mist and you blink and you are in the same room standing right next to Nularaaaa.
[2645.3s] Hey girl.
[2647.3s] Hey.
[2649.3s] What you got here?
[2651.3s] Not sure. Some levers?
[2653.3s] Did I just like disappear when I came in here?
[2655.3s] Yeah, and we were calling for you.
[2659.5s] Okay. Yeah, I didn't hear anything.
[2661.5s] So, you know, portals and shit as if we haven't had enough of this in our lives.
[2665.5s] Right. But, I mean, this is just fun and games.
[2667.5s] But this is just a fun one. We're just at the Harvest Festival.
[2671.5s] And we're awesome at lever type.
[2673.5s] We are so good at these kind of like riddle things. Amazing.
[2679.5s] Flint, what are you doing? Both of your friends have seemingly just disappeared.
[2683.5s] I'm giving them a minute to hope that they'll come back.
[2687.6s] You wait there for a minute. Thea and Nularaaaa, what do you do?
[2691.6s] Okay, so can you explain these levers again?
[2693.6s] You have three iron levers there sticking straight out from the wall.
[2697.6s] You can move them up or you can move them down.
[2699.6s] Sorry, they can be moved horizontally.
[2701.6s] So you can be moved all around. Excellent.
[2703.6s] Oh, okay.
[2705.6s] So like there's four options for each one.
[2707.6s] Up, down, left, right.
[2709.6s] Up, down, side to side.
[2711.6s] So is it like an up, up, down, down, left, right, left, right, B, A, select, start situation?
[2715.8s] Is it more of a joystick?
[2717.8s] Well, I mean, they can only move up and down inside.
[2719.8s] So they can't move directly.
[2721.8s] Okay, all right.
[2723.8s] Yeah, hey, what do you think?
[2725.8s] Should we start pulling on some of these bad boys?
[2727.8s] I say let's move one in a direction and see what happens.
[2731.8s] Sure. I go to the one.
[2733.8s] So I'm assuming there's one to my left, one to my right, one in front of me.
[2737.8s] They're all on the wall in front of me.
[2739.8s] Oh, they're just all on one wall.
[2741.8s] I go to the far left one.
[2743.9s] Yep.
[2745.9s] And I push it up.
[2747.9s] It takes a good amount of strength to push it up.
[2751.9s] But as it reaches the top, it does not do anything.
[2755.9s] You do one.
[2757.9s] Do it.
[2759.9s] I'm going to go to the middle one.
[2761.9s] And I'm going to put it down.
[2763.9s] Now we don't have any, like, what is happening?
[2765.9s] So left is up, middle is down.
[2767.9s] Middle is down, right is neutral.
[2770.1s] Okay, nothing has happened.
[2772.1s] Clint, what are you doing?
[2774.1s] It's been about a minute.
[2776.1s] I'm starting to get antsy that my friends haven't come back yet.
[2778.1s] So I stroll into the mist to go find them.
[2782.1s] The mist envelops you and you blink and you are now sardined into a 10-foot room.
[2788.1s] Perfect.
[2790.1s] Oh, hey, buddy.
[2792.1s] You're really close, right in here.
[2794.1s] It's tight in here.
[2796.1s] Yeah.
[2798.3s] You want to go man that lever over there?
[2802.3s] We're just playing around.
[2804.3s] Oh, the one in the neutral position on the right?
[2806.3s] Sure.
[2808.3s] The one in the neutral position on the right?
[2810.3s] You got it.
[2812.3s] I'm going to move it to the right.
[2814.3s] There's no systematic, I'm dying inside.
[2816.3s] I thought maybe we put them all in the upright position.
[2818.3s] I think that's what we did.
[2820.3s] No, no, no.
[2822.3s] Maybe I thought you guys had moved in every direction already.
[2824.4s] You've got one up, one down, one to the right.
[2828.4s] Nothing happens.
[2830.4s] Let's try all up, you guys.
[2832.4s] Maybe let's try all the same thing and see if something happens.
[2836.4s] I move mine up.
[2838.4s] I also move mine up.
[2840.4s] As the third one reaches the top, you hear a grinding of stone above you.
[2846.4s] And a small trap door opens in the center of the ceiling 10 feet above.
[2852.6s] Hey, look, an Icarus.
[2856.6s] If only someone had a cool ladder.
[2858.6s] Ah, shame nobody has anything cool.
[2860.6s] Wait a minute.
[2862.6s] It's too bad someone doesn't have boots where they could just put them on and fly straight up through.
[2868.6s] Yeah, that's true.
[2870.6s] I thought we established they were only hover boots.
[2872.6s] No, they're levitation boots.
[2874.6s] Oh, levitation boots.
[2876.6s] So they'd be ideal for this scenario.
[2878.6s] It would be.
[2880.7s] It would be.
[2884.7s] I really want to try out these boots.
[2886.7s] I'm not going to lie to you guys.
[2888.7s] Do you mind if I just pop up there and see what's up?
[2891.7s] Give it a shot. Let's see what's up there.
[2893.7s] See what's up.
[2895.7s] I am currently wearing them because that is just how I...
[2899.7s] Well, they're fashionable as well as levitatable.
[2902.7s] They're thigh-highs.
[2904.7s] Form and function.
[2906.7s] Exactly.
[2908.9s] The other is a verbal component.
[2911.9s] I position myself directly underneath the hole on the roof and I lift my hands up in the air and I say,
[2918.9s] Upsies!
[2920.9s] You go up into a small crawl space.
[2926.9s] Wide enough for one person to go ahead.
[2930.9s] Cool.
[2933.9s] What's going on up there?
[2936.1s] Well, I can use walls and things to move myself, apparently.
[2946.1s] So I move myself through this.
[2950.1s] Can I see if there's a dark...
[2952.1s] You see it goes ahead quite a ways. You don't see an end to it, though.
[2956.1s] I produce flame in my hand.
[2959.1s] You still don't see an end to this crawl space.
[2962.1s] But do I see anything around me?
[2964.2s] It is all stone.
[2966.2s] Hey guys, there's like...
[2968.2s] I like shimmy my way around, I'm looking down.
[2970.2s] There's like a...
[2972.2s] Just like a long crawl tunnel happening in here.
[2976.2s] You think that's just like a service tunnel for the haunted house?
[2982.2s] Maybe?
[2983.2s] Do you want to come down and we can try other levers?
[2985.2s] Or do we want to ladder on up there and shimmy around in the ceiling?
[2991.2s] Ah, well it doesn't matter to me.
[2993.4s] I get to use these boots for ten minutes.
[2997.4s] I slow myself down.
[2999.4s] Do you just want to hover for ten minutes and then we can revisit it?
[3001.4s] Yeah, no, I'll just...
[3003.4s] Yeah, I guess I do just kind of hover around.
[3008.4s] You want to try all three down?
[3010.4s] See what happens?
[3012.4s] Yeah, let's do it.
[3014.4s] I push myself down from the ceiling.
[3016.4s] Like and towards the thing.
[3019.4s] And I feel like...
[3021.5s] I feel like when I push down, I'm just going to end up like floating.
[3024.5s] Like you're an astronaut in space and you're adjusting where you need to go.
[3028.5s] You're not bracing yourself, so you're just like pulling yourself off.
[3033.5s] I let go and I just kind of like float there.
[3036.5s] And I'm like maybe one of you guys...
[3038.5s] Obviously it doesn't have to happen at the same time.
[3041.5s] Okay, well I'll get hers as well.
[3043.5s] Since I'm in the middle.
[3045.5s] Yeah, since we're moving all the levers down and when we moved it all up, an opening started.
[3050.7s] So I'm going to hang on to my lever as I move it down, just in case the floor gives way.
[3054.7s] This seems like a good idea.
[3056.7s] So smart.
[3057.7s] So smart.
[3058.7s] I'm not going to do that floating.
[3059.7s] You don't need to.
[3060.7s] Okay.
[3061.7s] So you go one at a time.
[3063.7s] Obviously because Nularaaa is doing two.
[3065.7s] So you do the first two and then as the third one hits the bottom, the floor gives way.
[3072.7s] All of the floor?
[3074.7s] All of the floor.
[3075.7s] Good thing we were holding on.
[3077.7s] Everybody make a strength check.
[3079.9s] I will.
[3080.9s] Except you because you're floating.
[3082.9s] I got 17.
[3084.9s] 14?
[3085.9s] You manage to hang on.
[3087.9s] And you look down and...
[3090.9s] I'm literally...
[3091.9s] I float in a single place until I am pushed or pulled against a fixed object or surface
[3097.9s] within reach.
[3098.9s] Okay.
[3099.9s] So you're floating there.
[3100.9s] Just kind of just hanging out.
[3102.9s] And you look down and it looks like it goes down for quite a long ways.
[3105.9s] Now is this just a straight drop?
[3107.9s] Straight drop.
[3109.0s] I take another copper out of my pocket and I flick it in and I listen.
[3113.0s] You listen for quite a while and what you can assume to be a 100 foot drop is when
[3118.0s] you hear the copper hit the ground.
[3120.0s] Guys, that's really far.
[3123.0s] We're in a little bit of a pickle.
[3126.0s] Because you guys...
[3128.0s] I wonder how long my ladder extends to.
[3131.0s] It's only 50 feet.
[3133.0s] Okay.
[3134.0s] Can you guys...
[3135.0s] Okay.
[3136.0s] Here's what I'm wondering.
[3137.2s] Can you guys hold on to the lever, get your feet braced against the wall and pull it back
[3144.2s] up?
[3145.2s] So like we're climbing a building 60s Batman style.
[3148.2s] Yeah.
[3149.2s] Yes.
[3150.2s] And I can try to...
[3151.2s] I don't think I could pull down on the lever.
[3154.2s] But I think if I braced my feet onto the wall, I could pull up on a lever.
[3159.0s] Sorry for clarification.
[3160.0s] At the same time that the floor gave way, the roof shut as well.
[3163.1s] Right.
[3164.1s] Sure.
[3165.1s] Yeah.
[3166.1s] Okay.
[3167.1s] Because he can do that.
[3168.1s] Oh yeah.
[3169.1s] What did Donnie do?
[3170.1s] Did he follow you through or is he still in the hallway?
[3171.1s] I always just assume he's with me.
[3172.1s] I assume he always...
[3173.1s] Yeah.
[3174.1s] I always just assume he's with me.
[3175.1s] Then yeah.
[3176.1s] Donnie's flying.
[3177.1s] Yeah.
[3178.1s] So, but he...
[3179.1s] Oh, this is a real tight fix.
[3180.1s] It is real tight in there.
[3183.1s] Well, 10 square feet.
[3184.1s] That's like an elevator, right?
[3186.1s] Yeah.
[3187.1s] That's pretty tight.
[3190.1s] Because he wouldn't be at a loss of strength.
[3195.1s] Can he try and pull one up?
[3197.1s] Yeah.
[3198.1s] He got a 15.
[3199.1s] Do I have to roll strength to pull one up?
[3202.1s] Are you trying to pull one up as well or is it just Donnie?
[3205.1s] Yeah.
[3206.1s] You roll with disadvantage because you have nothing to brace yourself on.
[3209.1s] I can brace myself against the wall.
[3211.1s] You're levitating away from the wall.
[3214.1s] Because you levitate away from any surface.
[3217.1s] Damn.
[3218.2s] Disadvantage is stupid and...
[3223.2s] Stupid.
[3224.2s] It's stupid and stupid.
[3226.2s] Donnie manages to pull his up and as he does the floor slowly begins to rise beneath
[3232.2s] your feet and you find yourself standing back on solid ground.
[3248.2s] Music in today's episode was by Kavin McLeod of Incompetech.Filmmusic.io
[3259.2s] Door number three.
[3264.2s] And you're all dead.
[3265.2s] Jesus Christ.
[3266.2s] I'm kidding, I'm kidding, I'm kidding.
[3267.2s] Pretty anticlimactic.
[3268.2s] I mean, yeah.
[3269.2s] On and off.
[3270.2s] That's where it all wraps up.
[3273.2s] Dumbgeons and Dragons is a Dumb Dragons production.